It’s a Love Hate World

Hi awesome peeps! Long time no read. And darn, have i missed you all.

It’s amazing how much we can go through in such little time. How much we can change in no time at all. I realised that there’s always someone out there ready to bring you down, manipulate and ruin things for you, but we have the ability to parry those daggers of hate and pain away from us.

I had a few big arguments because of a person out there trying to make me angry, make me trip and result in me making the people i love hate me in return. With people out there like that hiding their cloak of lies and deceit, i have realised that we have a way to reflect that damage away from us so that we can do the things we want to and be with the people we love and maybe even repair the damages done because of them; in the hope that the person you care about will see through it all and see you in your true form. My journey has begun and i hope that i can one day repair the damages to indirectly show that deceitful person that i am unstoppable and show the person i care about that i have always cared and always will.

Another lesson learned.

Another step in the right direction.

Wherever it may lead next.

 

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The Invisible Man

I walk atop a tall bricked stalk,

Wind cutting through my cheek;

Stepping just slightly over to the edge.

I contemplate why i’m so invisibly meek.

 

I called her name and she turned around,

But looked right through me with pure desolation;

Should i tell her, elucidate the truth of it all,

Or will i be simply risking her life in this discombobulation.

 

One way or another they’ll find me aloof,

And they’ll shackle my soul away;

I’ll be left entirely docile but to do their bidding,

So i run further and further, left with but dismay.

 

So here i am once again atop,

Of this broken old stalk of disdain;

Standing over on the edge of all that is left,

Just wishing to be seen again.

 

Cosmic Entanglement

Across her space of convolution,

Stands a entity full of revolution;

A Star that seeks to distantly reach,

But does so not, instead alone without speech.

 

Across it’s time of a thousand events,

It flares the worthiness of it’s extents;

She lets the time brimmed goblet drop,

Because no longer is it’s light atop.

 

Across their continuum of it’s time and her space,

A lonesome star in her dimensional grace;

It’s flame enkindles setting itself ablaze,

But she veers on by with nothing but a graze.

 

The Enigmatic Flame

He gazes through the dusty path,

Upon a transcendental allure;

And her grace looks back with forceful feeling,

With an embodiment of obscure.

 

A stare, a touch, an unrestrainable feel,

Enigmatic pulses of immortal flame;

That lives through even our blighted past,

Let’s embrace, entwine and forever reclaim.

 

Fear Can Be Useful… Sometimes

I have been pondering a lot about fear recently and the other day i was on a Dark Knight movie marathon and i came across something. I have always wondered about how bad fear is and how it puts us in some of the worst situations possible. I thought that overcoming fear of everything was the best way about it. This time while i was watching the last movie in the trilogy “The Dark Knight Rises”, it made me realise otherwise.

I used to think that fear was something that holds us back, stopping us from doing great things. Well, during the movie the notion of fear was brought up in a situation and then resolved with a very interesting theory. I thought that if i rid myself of fear then i could do anything i put my mind to. It is hear i realised that sure i could do great things if i put my mind to it but in certain situations fear becomes a requirement to take things that step further than all steps. It seems that fear can help us push ourselves to do things by utilising our maximum effort, strength, capacity and so on. Having no fear is like having a safety net beneath you in case you fall. It can mean that we may psychologically not do our best because we know we are safe. Take this safety net away and you’re left with the fear of falling. This means that to make the jump, we must put in all the strength we have into it, knowing that if we don’t, then we fall. The fear drives us to put everything we have into what we are about to do. This isn’t just about jumping from one cliff edge to another, but also in the context of trying to hand in something according to a deadline and the fear of failure making us put everything we have into getting that last piece of work in. Or running into a burning building from fear of losing someone. And the reasoning runs on into the infinite. Of course this is may not be something that happens on a daily basis but in those moments, it is there and it can be harnessed to an extent.

We all have something we fear, be it materialistic such as losing an object or money; or something deeper or more psychological like losing someone you love. I have discovered two fears of mine so far. One of them has already been mentioned, while the other is a more bodily constraint in the form of paralysis, which i believe came about from childhood in my love for all things Superman. Superman = Superman Movies = Christopher Reeve = Paralysis. Bizarro i know, but i think very highly of these two people, one materialistically real and one fictionally real. My worst dreams are the ones which physically constrain me in the form of full or partial paralysis and it is usually far worst when i am lucid dreaming and still cannot break from it. My fear of paralysis drives me to do more and be more active in everything i do, more than ever. Recently for many reasons i have begun a thorough training programme of exercise, for both mind and body (and maybe even soul). The other is to fight for and protect the people i love with everything i have.

So in the end, fear does not have to be a stopping force but can in fact be a driving force. Don’t let fear control your life, take your fears and use them to drive you further than ever, because you never know, one day, you may just fly.

Thanks for reading.

 

End of the 24th on the 24th

Finally me being 24 on the 24th of September is coming to an end. Mostly because, well, it was the hardest year of my entire life … so far. All the worst things that life can bring together in the one year i knew was going to be big. But big was bad. A bit like the Big Bad Wolf.

It made me think about what i would have done differently if i could. So many have told me that it’s better to just not regret and move on, but i realised that sometimes we need to regret. Without regret i feel we would simply not find the light afterwards, not learn. I am still searching for my light and maybe now that my cursed year has ended i may find some peace.

The one thing that i kept strong was positive thinking. That is important. That in the darkest of times there is still hope. However real or unreal hope may be at the time, fake or not, it is important and in my case it is the only thing driving me. I have begun exercising thoroughly, taking my body to it’s limits. For once you reach your limits, you can break them. That is when you become the better part of yourself, that is what i am working for. Sometimes we lose people close and it’s ok to be sad, but what is more important is that we don’t lose ourselves. Exercise for me seems to not only be strengthening my body but it has helped strengthen my mind and keep me alive. Turning 24 was the worst thing for me, but maybe turning 25 tomorrow will bring change into my world, and i’m not talking the copper kind. Even after all the bad, there was one good thing that came out of the horrors and that i’ll hold close. I just wish the future can bring more good than bad, who knows, maybe i’ll be surprised.

Thanks for reading.