Not Yet

I stand with wind between my hair,
And death creeping beneath me;
A life’s grip on a death’s tool,
With the blade amongst decree.

The shadow beneath me, now behind,
And palms on each of my side;
A flash or two but no time for past,
Just one plea before that end of tide.

Not yet.

 

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The Mechanical Mind in a Mechanical Mode

I’m back after a life’s hiccup, and it made me wonder about our mind and how it at times functions in almost a mechanical way (hence my blogs slogan). I read something interesting about the mind and how it shuffles through memories. When we are faced with problems and situations it’s possible that our mind subconsciously shuffles through memories within seconds to find something relevant for the current situation.

For example you’re in falling wreckage and you’re pinned. Your mind shuffles through memories and brings one of a film you watched about a dog. You wonder why this thought that arrived and then you realise you could get a nearby dog you just saw a few seconds ago to bring you something to pry yourself out to safety. Thus saving your life.

This could be the famous shuffling of memory in our mind that we call “that moment my life flashed before my eyes”. And that life being your mind looking for something relevant to the situation.

In this thought a little poem popped up in my head, as i was recently in an accident and thought of something similar. I might post it after this actually.

 

It’s a Love Hate World

Hi awesome peeps! Long time no read. And darn, have i missed you all.

It’s amazing how much we can go through in such little time. How much we can change in no time at all. I realised that there’s always someone out there ready to bring you down, manipulate and ruin things for you, but we have the ability to parry those daggers of hate and pain away from us.

I had a few big arguments because of a person out there trying to make me angry, make me trip and result in me making the people i love hate me in return. With people out there like that hiding their cloak of lies and deceit, i have realised that we have a way to reflect that damage away from us so that we can do the things we want to and be with the people we love and maybe even repair the damages done because of them; in the hope that the person you care about will see through it all and see you in your true form. My journey has begun and i hope that i can one day repair the damages to indirectly show that deceitful person that i am unstoppable and show the person i care about that i have always cared and always will.

Another lesson learned.

Another step in the right direction.

Wherever it may lead next.

 

Void of Prospect

I stare into the void in my poor beggar’s life. I blink once twice and the third shoots me in the head with light. As i look up a mechanical being walks past hissing and clanking engraving the ground as it strides. I forget the world I live in and then remember it all at once. A world where donations only go to the rich and wider pavements for the poor.

The light hits me in the thoughts once again. From this point onwards I have no void. I have purpose. I, now upright am ready for my test. I observe the two enforcers on my left as they compute their surroundings in their cold minds. Eyes dead as dust. I look ahead at the upper city and my path is set. I run. The wind has become me as I rocket myself past everyone. I hear the bleeps of the enforcers but carry on, because now I can make a difference. Now I can change things.

 

Superman First Issue in the New York Post Newspaper 1939

Superman First Issue New York Post Newspaper 1939 Framed3

Superman First Issue New York Post Newspaper 1939 UnframedSuperman First Issue New York Post Newspaper 1939 DateSuperman First Issue New York Post Newspaper 1939 Superman Strip

 

Here it is, the start of the Memorable Memorabilia of moi. And it begins with my most prized possession. This is in fact the first issue of Superman ever released in the New York Post newspaper dated Monday July 10th 1939.

My story of this begins many years ago when i first found my love for Superman and the Superman franchise. Sometimes when we are children we have the need for something to look up to, something to give us hope, something to tell us that we are going to make it and when we do, we are going to make sure the people around us also do. My past wasn’t a good one. It was filled with peril, pain and a little bit of happiness here and there to make it all seem…somewhat balanced. I needed something to grasp on to and help propel me towards the might of the sky. And so i chose my favourite character in everything i read and watched… Superman. He became my father figure, my guiding light and my way of life. To be good, to help people and to become strong enough to fight head on the perils i once fought with my shivering soul. Thus began an ever growing love for this franchise… and my superhero complex.

I went through a difficult point in life a few years ago and i chose to buy things, many things. I chose to collect things of great value that i liked, be it from film, books and music. Then i realised that i was buying to make the metaphoric hellish pit i live in, a better place. But even if such a thing exists, you can’t make a hellish pit better, it’s hellish. And so i bought my last piece. It had to be something big and of great value to me and so i bought this. Thus ended my purchasing spree to empty pockets. When i purchased it from a far of distant organisation linked to Washington DC, it arrived about a week after. It is such a brittle piece that even a touch can make parts of it crumble, so i immediately had it put into a protective sleeve and sealed into a frame.

So what to do now? Would i sell it? Maybe. Life has changed and is ever changing. I will keep it well preserved and packed until either i have a home with a dedicated memorabilia room, maybe have it on one of my walls, or i sell it and thus Superman helps me once again to pave a better future with enough money to start the purchase of a house. Perhaps. We shall only see.

 

Troubles and Toleration

We all go through troubles in our life time, however big or small. Sometimes we simply feel that they are just too big to deal with. But in the end we make it…right? Year after year we tell ourselves that life could not bring me anything more troublesome, and we begin to expect better things until SHMACK! Another even more difficult situation.

I thought to myself the other day. How do we seem to make it in life when troubles just seem to get bigger and more worse to deal with. I recently had a difficulty i thought not possible for recovery. Then i thought to myself, well maybe it’s as simple as, we get stronger the more we face more difficult trouble. So in a way we tolerate, conquer and surpass more as time goes by, become stronger as time goes by.

If we so choose it.

It’s like a line graph showing an upward correlation of two parallel lines, being of course Troubles and Tolerance. So as life becomes harder, it seems we learn from the troubles and in return evolve into stronger individuals. It also reminds me of a sound waveform fluctuating. The waveform fluctuates up and down through the air, expanding in both the higher frequencies and lower frequencies. The frequencies here show the ups and downs of life. Putting the two together gives you the notion that although life may fluctuate with good times and bad times; ultimately pulling you into a state of flux; if we so choose to fight it and learn from it, then we can fight the troubles and become stronger and stronger in each battle. And of course as much as we would like to believe, the troubles of life will never end. We must simply get used to it. To tolerate, to be patient and to endure. All words correlating to fight through it.

I guess there are two things i can think of to take from this. One being that choice is at the heart of troubles. Choosing to give up seems to result in a backward plummet until we face a situation of equal peril, until we eventually decide to fight it, inevitably becoming stronger. Making that choice however is the tough part. So many of us choose to give up, or even give up before we’ve even started, but that is where my second point comes in, having faith in ourselves. By seeing that troubles and tolerance go hand-in-hand, we can understand that we are eventually going to make it, if we choose to. And do we want to make it, of course we do; we have dreams and aspirations. We want them and so we know we are going to have to work for them, fight for them and make sacrifices for them. I believe that everyone in the world wants something, dreams about something. Therefore our choice is made. We want to make it through. It’s almost like we subconsciously choose it. To have made that choice so subconsciously means that somewhere in our minds buried deep, is our belief. Believing we can get through it. I think that’s the toughest part, but once you tap into that part of yourself -and it is in all of us- then troubles becomes secondary and is no longer the dominant part of your head or even life. A life will never stop throwing difficulties our way. Ultimately i believe that the harder the difficulties, the more we have to learn. And learn we will. In time.