The Mechanical Mind in a Mechanical Mode

I’m back after a life’s hiccup, and it made me wonder about our mind and how it at times functions in almost a mechanical way (hence my blogs slogan). I read something interesting about the mind and how it shuffles through memories. When we are faced with problems and situations it’s possible that our mind subconsciously shuffles through memories within seconds to find something relevant for the current situation.

For example you’re in falling wreckage and you’re pinned. Your mind shuffles through memories and brings one of a film you watched about a dog. You wonder why this thought that arrived and then you realise you could get a nearby dog you just saw a few seconds ago to bring you something to pry yourself out to safety. Thus saving your life.

This could be the famous shuffling of memory in our mind that we call “that moment my life flashed before my eyes”. And that life being your mind looking for something relevant to the situation.

In this thought a little poem popped up in my head, as i was recently in an accident and thought of something similar. I might post it after this actually.

 

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It’s a Love Hate World

Hi awesome peeps! Long time no read. And darn, have i missed you all.

It’s amazing how much we can go through in such little time. How much we can change in no time at all. I realised that there’s always someone out there ready to bring you down, manipulate and ruin things for you, but we have the ability to parry those daggers of hate and pain away from us.

I had a few big arguments because of a person out there trying to make me angry, make me trip and result in me making the people i love hate me in return. With people out there like that hiding their cloak of lies and deceit, i have realised that we have a way to reflect that damage away from us so that we can do the things we want to and be with the people we love and maybe even repair the damages done because of them; in the hope that the person you care about will see through it all and see you in your true form. My journey has begun and i hope that i can one day repair the damages to indirectly show that deceitful person that i am unstoppable and show the person i care about that i have always cared and always will.

Another lesson learned.

Another step in the right direction.

Wherever it may lead next.

 

Troubles and Toleration

We all go through troubles in our life time, however big or small. Sometimes we simply feel that they are just too big to deal with. But in the end we make it…right? Year after year we tell ourselves that life could not bring me anything more troublesome, and we begin to expect better things until SHMACK! Another even more difficult situation.

I thought to myself the other day. How do we seem to make it in life when troubles just seem to get bigger and more worse to deal with. I recently had a difficulty i thought not possible for recovery. Then i thought to myself, well maybe it’s as simple as, we get stronger the more we face more difficult trouble. So in a way we tolerate, conquer and surpass more as time goes by, become stronger as time goes by.

If we so choose it.

It’s like a line graph showing an upward correlation of two parallel lines, being of course Troubles and Tolerance. So as life becomes harder, it seems we learn from the troubles and in return evolve into stronger individuals. It also reminds me of a sound waveform fluctuating. The waveform fluctuates up and down through the air, expanding in both the higher frequencies and lower frequencies. The frequencies here show the ups and downs of life. Putting the two together gives you the notion that although life may fluctuate with good times and bad times; ultimately pulling you into a state of flux; if we so choose to fight it and learn from it, then we can fight the troubles and become stronger and stronger in each battle. And of course as much as we would like to believe, the troubles of life will never end. We must simply get used to it. To tolerate, to be patient and to endure. All words correlating to fight through it.

I guess there are two things i can think of to take from this. One being that choice is at the heart of troubles. Choosing to give up seems to result in a backward plummet until we face a situation of equal peril, until we eventually decide to fight it, inevitably becoming stronger. Making that choice however is the tough part. So many of us choose to give up, or even give up before we’ve even started, but that is where my second point comes in, having faith in ourselves. By seeing that troubles and tolerance go hand-in-hand, we can understand that we are eventually going to make it, if we choose to. And do we want to make it, of course we do; we have dreams and aspirations. We want them and so we know we are going to have to work for them, fight for them and make sacrifices for them. I believe that everyone in the world wants something, dreams about something. Therefore our choice is made. We want to make it through. It’s almost like we subconsciously choose it. To have made that choice so subconsciously means that somewhere in our minds buried deep, is our belief. Believing we can get through it. I think that’s the toughest part, but once you tap into that part of yourself -and it is in all of us- then troubles becomes secondary and is no longer the dominant part of your head or even life. A life will never stop throwing difficulties our way. Ultimately i believe that the harder the difficulties, the more we have to learn. And learn we will. In time.

 

Jobs, and the Fear of being Great

Creatives, we call ourselves.

Artists, we call ourselves.

Freelancers, we call ourselves.

We are tomorrow, if we believe.

We sleep late, we try to wake up early, we socialise less than we should. Our computers, pens, pencils, paintbrushes become our tools of priority. Food, exercise, communication somehow falls behind. Maybe not all of these, maybe just some but we alone know who we are and what we are doing.

Jobs. This is where our lives are turned upside down. We want our dream job now and we strive to get it, building portfolios, showreels and many creative CVs. But sometimes non of it seems to make a difference. I am going to focus on one aspect of why we seem to fail at getting jobs. This aspect is why i fail to find a job and many i know who can relate. We all have a safety net, that one place we know we feel safe even when we know we should not be in there. Be it a neglected child, an only child, or simply the youngest child. Of course there are many reasons and ways we have safety nets but i am not a genius, i am not a philosopher, nor a psychologist. I am just a man trying to help people.

The neglected child wants to be loved, the only child wants a sibling and the youngest child wishes to have been a older child. In conjunction, the neglected child finds the seclusion a way of hiding away until some attention is thrown his/her way on which he/her thrives on; the only child finds safety in the attention of his/her parents; and the youngest finds safety in simply being the youngest, although they may have the elders to build up to as an expectation, they do indeed find safety in the protection of them. Many of us do this and these are major factors in why we don’t get jobs and often fail in other things. Of course there are many other reasons, but i am focusing especially on these for i have encountered these in life one time or another. It may seem a little farfetched but if i have experienced it then it is safe to say that it is exists and that i am not alone.

It is time to change things. It is time to become legends in the making, because trust me, we can. But we must start by throwing away our shackles. We must put ourselves into our fears. Fear doesn’t have to be something bad that we are scared of. A close friend of mines made me realise how much we fear the great things in life. How although it may sound weird, we fear getting the perfect job, we fear the overload of what are trying to get in the first place, we fear becoming any greater than we currently are. It’s amazing how we can fear the things we want. So, we sit there day in day out, applying for jobs without any real enthusiasm, any real motivation and any real determination. We can even go as far as making ourselves believe we have all of the above, when in fact we’re simply storing it, hiding it, fearing what might happen if enthusiasm, motivation and determination grips us and propels us forward.

It is time to put ourselves into our fears. Where the neglected child says,

“No more hiding in safety, it’s time to get my job, to start from the beginning and work my way up to greatness, and only then will i realise that i have friends and people around that will see me and be inspired; and no longer will i be alone or unloved.”

Where the only child says,

“No more using my parents as safety, it’s time to get my job, step out into the world and realise that amongst the crowds of humanity, i can stand out, i can meet people, become great and spread the knowledge and message around the globe because after all we are never alone.”

And where the youngest child says,

“No more hiding as youngest, no more using the safety of being smothered and protected by the elders, for in mind, i too am an elder and i believe it; and with this i will get the job i need right now to work my way up to greatness; and i can show the world that the timidness of the youngest can explode out over the globe in great awe.”

I hope you can see how these three case studies can be utilised for many others. It is time we stopped fearing about being in the world and experiencing the scary adventure that is laid in front of us. It’s time to believe in ourselves and simply step out there. Only once we are out there in the career wilderness will we gain the experience we need to travel further; and you never know what surprises you may find yourself in, what job you’ll find the opportunity to work in, and what people you’ll meet, and in return inspire. Our aspirations are not prisons, but the key to our success. Today marks the day i will no longer hide in my room, behind my computer, travelling only in cyberspace and waiting for my salvation. I am going out, reaching for my own salvation and becoming the legend i have always wanted to be.

Come, join me.

Thank you for reading.

Fear Can Be Useful… Sometimes

I have been pondering a lot about fear recently and the other day i was on a Dark Knight movie marathon and i came across something. I have always wondered about how bad fear is and how it puts us in some of the worst situations possible. I thought that overcoming fear of everything was the best way about it. This time while i was watching the last movie in the trilogy “The Dark Knight Rises”, it made me realise otherwise.

I used to think that fear was something that holds us back, stopping us from doing great things. Well, during the movie the notion of fear was brought up in a situation and then resolved with a very interesting theory. I thought that if i rid myself of fear then i could do anything i put my mind to. It is hear i realised that sure i could do great things if i put my mind to it but in certain situations fear becomes a requirement to take things that step further than all steps. It seems that fear can help us push ourselves to do things by utilising our maximum effort, strength, capacity and so on. Having no fear is like having a safety net beneath you in case you fall. It can mean that we may psychologically not do our best because we know we are safe. Take this safety net away and you’re left with the fear of falling. This means that to make the jump, we must put in all the strength we have into it, knowing that if we don’t, then we fall. The fear drives us to put everything we have into what we are about to do. This isn’t just about jumping from one cliff edge to another, but also in the context of trying to hand in something according to a deadline and the fear of failure making us put everything we have into getting that last piece of work in. Or running into a burning building from fear of losing someone. And the reasoning runs on into the infinite. Of course this is may not be something that happens on a daily basis but in those moments, it is there and it can be harnessed to an extent.

We all have something we fear, be it materialistic such as losing an object or money; or something deeper or more psychological like losing someone you love. I have discovered two fears of mine so far. One of them has already been mentioned, while the other is a more bodily constraint in the form of paralysis, which i believe came about from childhood in my love for all things Superman. Superman = Superman Movies = Christopher Reeve = Paralysis. Bizarro i know, but i think very highly of these two people, one materialistically real and one fictionally real. My worst dreams are the ones which physically constrain me in the form of full or partial paralysis and it is usually far worst when i am lucid dreaming and still cannot break from it. My fear of paralysis drives me to do more and be more active in everything i do, more than ever. Recently for many reasons i have begun a thorough training programme of exercise, for both mind and body (and maybe even soul). The other is to fight for and protect the people i love with everything i have.

So in the end, fear does not have to be a stopping force but can in fact be a driving force. Don’t let fear control your life, take your fears and use them to drive you further than ever, because you never know, one day, you may just fly.

Thanks for reading.

 

A Purposeful Purpose

It has been a while since i have blogged. Mostly because i lost purpose. It happens to so many of us, unexpected and full of difficulties. A purpose it seems is that one thing that you know you want to and will do and will feel that if life had ended, that you would feel happy that you have done so. There seem to be many purposes too, not just the one life purpose but a career purpose and home purpose and self purpose and many others.

After my birthday went i had lost most of them but as time went by and things became much more alone, i realised that it is ok to not know. Not knowing doesn’t mean you are missing something. It means you have another surprise waiting for you. I do video editing, creative writing, a bit of web design, script writing, comic developing, drawing and am even trying to get into voice acting. So many things and i don’t even know which one is the real one or the one i meant to be living through, so i do all of them. right know i am feeling the writing more, but i always like drawing and video editing is a profession i seem to be good at. Sometimes wanting a purpose, wanting to feel like you have a dream that you can acquire is all you desire, takes up all your time. But i have realised that this is all possible.

The one thing that i have realised and embraced more than anything is you don’t have to force yourself, you don’t have to listen to the person telling you that you need to do this thing now and leave the others, whether it be you or someone else. No. All you have to do is know what you love. If you don’t know that then experiment and learn new things and i am sure you will find something, for i believe there is always something and someone for each of us. At one moment in time you will come across something or someone (not just career wise), and when you do just know that if you love doing this one thing or you love this one thing, then it is your passion for it that will help you through. Some may say “well how it passion going to make you successful”. The thing that so many forget is that to do things we often need a drive. Nope not a Jaguar, but passion is all we need. Passion is a form of motivation that drives us, and if you grasp it, it will drive you, motivate you and even be that strict priotiser that makes you work hard. Why would you strictly work hard? Because you love doing it. This aspiration becomes a force that will drive you so far forward. Sometimes we even have a passion to do things but there is still something missing. One example i am sure i will come across, is that sometimes we need someone to share the things we love, and that is another purpose, someone. This i believe is the hardest purpose in existence. But nevertheless it can all be achieved and no one in this world has to leave not having acquired these purposes.

At the end of it all it is okay to not know if you have a purpose in something or even in life, because when the time comes and you give it your best throughout, that purpose will be there visible or invisible. Just trust yourself, trust your passion.

 

The Mysterious Symbol

End of the 24th on the 24th

Finally me being 24 on the 24th of September is coming to an end. Mostly because, well, it was the hardest year of my entire life … so far. All the worst things that life can bring together in the one year i knew was going to be big. But big was bad. A bit like the Big Bad Wolf.

It made me think about what i would have done differently if i could. So many have told me that it’s better to just not regret and move on, but i realised that sometimes we need to regret. Without regret i feel we would simply not find the light afterwards, not learn. I am still searching for my light and maybe now that my cursed year has ended i may find some peace.

The one thing that i kept strong was positive thinking. That is important. That in the darkest of times there is still hope. However real or unreal hope may be at the time, fake or not, it is important and in my case it is the only thing driving me. I have begun exercising thoroughly, taking my body to it’s limits. For once you reach your limits, you can break them. That is when you become the better part of yourself, that is what i am working for. Sometimes we lose people close and it’s ok to be sad, but what is more important is that we don’t lose ourselves. Exercise for me seems to not only be strengthening my body but it has helped strengthen my mind and keep me alive. Turning 24 was the worst thing for me, but maybe turning 25 tomorrow will bring change into my world, and i’m not talking the copper kind. Even after all the bad, there was one good thing that came out of the horrors and that i’ll hold close. I just wish the future can bring more good than bad, who knows, maybe i’ll be surprised.

Thanks for reading.