It’s a Love Hate World

Hi awesome peeps! Long time no read. And darn, have i missed you all.

It’s amazing how much we can go through in such little time. How much we can change in no time at all. I realised that there’s always someone out there ready to bring you down, manipulate and ruin things for you, but we have the ability to parry those daggers of hate and pain away from us.

I had a few big arguments because of a person out there trying to make me angry, make me trip and result in me making the people i love hate me in return. With people out there like that hiding their cloak of lies and deceit, i have realised that we have a way to reflect that damage away from us so that we can do the things we want to and be with the people we love and maybe even repair the damages done because of them; in the hope that the person you care about will see through it all and see you in your true form. My journey has begun and i hope that i can one day repair the damages to indirectly show that deceitful person that i am unstoppable and show the person i care about that i have always cared and always will.

Another lesson learned.

Another step in the right direction.

Wherever it may lead next.

 

Troubles and Choices

Sorry for the lack of posts this side of the year folks. A lot has happened in terms of a lot troubles and choices (ah link to title… *person in the back row seat applauds, then immediate gets slapped*). So much to think about, so much to decide. Choices, do i, don’t i? What if? But then isn’t life just a string of what ifs waiting to happen, and should we really be waiting for what ifs? Wondering what consequences could occur, good or bad? If one should fight for it, or let it go forever? So much to think about. Sometimes it seems you are faced with two choices. One which will always be there and the other which will be gone forever. So then wouldn’t it be better to make the choice that could be lost forever? So if that choice turns out well, then hooray (person in the back row gets a jam tart), but if it doesn’t then we can always come back to the first choice and carry on from where we left off. I guess in the end it depends on how much you are willing to fight and sacrifice for it and how much it really means to you. Then put your fears in your pockets and take the chance.

So what will I do?

Simple. I will always take that chance, and if all fails and all is lost, then at least I know I tried.

Time to ready myself for a future of flux. Am I ready?…No. Am I ready knowing I am not ready?…Yes.

Thanks for reading.

 

A Purposeful Purpose

It has been a while since i have blogged. Mostly because i lost purpose. It happens to so many of us, unexpected and full of difficulties. A purpose it seems is that one thing that you know you want to and will do and will feel that if life had ended, that you would feel happy that you have done so. There seem to be many purposes too, not just the one life purpose but a career purpose and home purpose and self purpose and many others.

After my birthday went i had lost most of them but as time went by and things became much more alone, i realised that it is ok to not know. Not knowing doesn’t mean you are missing something. It means you have another surprise waiting for you. I do video editing, creative writing, a bit of web design, script writing, comic developing, drawing and am even trying to get into voice acting. So many things and i don’t even know which one is the real one or the one i meant to be living through, so i do all of them. right know i am feeling the writing more, but i always like drawing and video editing is a profession i seem to be good at. Sometimes wanting a purpose, wanting to feel like you have a dream that you can acquire is all you desire, takes up all your time. But i have realised that this is all possible.

The one thing that i have realised and embraced more than anything is you don’t have to force yourself, you don’t have to listen to the person telling you that you need to do this thing now and leave the others, whether it be you or someone else. No. All you have to do is know what you love. If you don’t know that then experiment and learn new things and i am sure you will find something, for i believe there is always something and someone for each of us. At one moment in time you will come across something or someone (not just career wise), and when you do just know that if you love doing this one thing or you love this one thing, then it is your passion for it that will help you through. Some may say “well how it passion going to make you successful”. The thing that so many forget is that to do things we often need a drive. Nope not a Jaguar, but passion is all we need. Passion is a form of motivation that drives us, and if you grasp it, it will drive you, motivate you and even be that strict priotiser that makes you work hard. Why would you strictly work hard? Because you love doing it. This aspiration becomes a force that will drive you so far forward. Sometimes we even have a passion to do things but there is still something missing. One example i am sure i will come across, is that sometimes we need someone to share the things we love, and that is another purpose, someone. This i believe is the hardest purpose in existence. But nevertheless it can all be achieved and no one in this world has to leave not having acquired these purposes.

At the end of it all it is okay to not know if you have a purpose in something or even in life, because when the time comes and you give it your best throughout, that purpose will be there visible or invisible. Just trust yourself, trust your passion.

 

The Mysterious Symbol

End of the 24th on the 24th

Finally me being 24 on the 24th of September is coming to an end. Mostly because, well, it was the hardest year of my entire life … so far. All the worst things that life can bring together in the one year i knew was going to be big. But big was bad. A bit like the Big Bad Wolf.

It made me think about what i would have done differently if i could. So many have told me that it’s better to just not regret and move on, but i realised that sometimes we need to regret. Without regret i feel we would simply not find the light afterwards, not learn. I am still searching for my light and maybe now that my cursed year has ended i may find some peace.

The one thing that i kept strong was positive thinking. That is important. That in the darkest of times there is still hope. However real or unreal hope may be at the time, fake or not, it is important and in my case it is the only thing driving me. I have begun exercising thoroughly, taking my body to it’s limits. For once you reach your limits, you can break them. That is when you become the better part of yourself, that is what i am working for. Sometimes we lose people close and it’s ok to be sad, but what is more important is that we don’t lose ourselves. Exercise for me seems to not only be strengthening my body but it has helped strengthen my mind and keep me alive. Turning 24 was the worst thing for me, but maybe turning 25 tomorrow will bring change into my world, and i’m not talking the copper kind. Even after all the bad, there was one good thing that came out of the horrors and that i’ll hold close. I just wish the future can bring more good than bad, who knows, maybe i’ll be surprised.

Thanks for reading.

 

It Never Rains, But It Soars

Today i woke up with muscle pains all over, but pains that make you feel good you’ve got them. Why would pain be good? Well maybe because physical pain can often be a sign of accomplishment. The accomplishment i am talking about here is a simple cycling journey i did.

I woke up and thought to myself when i looked outside my window, that this day is looking grim and it is probably going to rain, so maybe i should just stay at home. Then for once, i told myself that when is it ever going to be a good time, and the truth is, hardly ever. So i got my things ready, took out my bicycle and gave it a good clean, tweak, greasing and re-pumping. The time was well into 3pm but i was determined. I got completely ready, music to my ears, and set off on my small journey. Journey of choice…Romford. A mere 8 miles away, or approximately 13 kilometres away if you like that sort of thing.

ForestGate_To_Romford

My journey began pretty well and sun was shining… well… pretty well. Then after a long journey i managed to reach my destination. The fun began when i decided to go back home, which was about 30 minutes after getting there. The rain began to pour down. But i expected it and nothing was going to ruin my ride. The music was complementing the rain pretty well and together it became harmony. After a minor injury and a stormy ride i eventually made it home drenched in salty water. And in the end it felt painfully great. I was determined to do this and i did it knowing it could never really be a right time for it. After all nothing we plan or wish for ever comes at the right time and in the end, we realise that the right time is when we make time.

 

I’d Bank On That Picture

First of all i don’t really like banks. Phew that wasn’t too difficult. Anyway, Barclays have decided to bring back personalised cards, and this time instead of £6, it’s free…for now. Now i don’t want to be talking about Barclays, but what i do want to talk about is this personalising your card business. Of course it is a marketing strategy to get more people on Barclays accounts and so on and so forth, but what i do like about this is that for those that do already have cards from this bank or even wish to, you can put a cool picture on your card and rid of that corporate design.

That’s why i thought i would do a blog post on this. The best thing about it is that you can put pictures of your own art or even pictures of yourself, if you like that sort of thing. I decided to make my own image, thus below.

 

The Mysterious Symbol

 

It took eight versions to decide which one i was going to keep and after my selection above, i was able to complete my card and make it look like me, in some way, or form… yeah you get what i mean. It is likely that other banks will also begin doing this as it has become quite a successful strategy. There are still rules like, no copyrighted material, no celebrities, no promotional material and of course the favourite no inappropriate material… like aluminium. Here’s my final outcome for all that want my card details.

 

My Personalised Barclays Card

 

You actually thought i would give you my details. You’re better off just asking me. And why did i use this mysterious symbol you ask? Well, its mysterious so find out. Thanks for reading and safe banking.

 

A New Hope

First of all… Happy New Year!

I haven’t blogged in a while, so deepest apologies… well not too deep otherwise that’d be gross. But things have been a little rocky, well actually things have been so rocky, they’ve been Rocky V. We all have times when we just have too much unloaded on to us, for us to do the things we wish to. Sometimes they are things that are just inevitable and other times they are just down right bad. It makes me wonder if it’s life throwing to many things my way, or me not managing myself good enough. For me i thinks it’s more of a mix of the two with a little added extra of the former. But when it all comes down to it, we have this one day in every year that makes us think, “You know what? i don’t have to do or think like that anymore, because now it’s time for changes.” Some us actually do it and some of us just can’t. I am of course talking about the New Year. For many in other cultures, the day is different and for a large section of the world, it was last week, but the concept is the same.

Like many i too have used this time to create resolutions. Like for instance, one of mines is 1080p. Both the long term and instant resolutions are something we should feel loyal too, as for me, it is this that will make my life move forward. Thus a new year equals a new hope. A hope that’ll keep us going until the next year to come. And talking of new years to come, isn’t this an exciting year? By that i mean, this year we have that Mayan Prediction of the END OF THE WORLD. Do i believe it will happen… Nope, or at least i will go about my daily life like there isn’t. Do YOU believe it will happen? Post comments if you wish. I have done a fair deal of research on it and it is rather interesting. Although most “professionals” believe the Mayan side of it to be a mis-representation. The part that i would like to believe which excludes the supposed Mayan theory, is that this may be a time of new change. 2012 may indeed mark the beginning of a new era. Now that sounds better. Maybe the digital revolution will take over and the world will upgrade… hmm upgrades. Or SOME scientist in SOME remote location will have access to SOME super tech and will create a machine that will become artificially intelligent and then despise the idea that something as primitive as human beings have created it, and then it will build more of its own, and then create an army and unleash a war of mass proportions, while humanity is fending for their lives… ok i stop. Thanks for reading and stay tuned, or IPed. Haha that sounds funny.

R