Starlight Rust Website Debuts

Posted by Ratan Phamber on

First of all thank you for everyone who has subscribed. I thrive on knowing that there are people interested in what i write about.

As you may know i recently began an improvised online novel called Starlight Rust. I’ve had a lot of people talk to me about this and so i decided to create it’s own website. You can now read and follow the Starlight Rust novel specifically and officially here. If you haven’t yet read it, try the first chapter and tell me what you think.

 

Starlight Rust

 

The site will be clean and only post new chapters of the novel, so follow it and see how deep the rabbit hole goes. In addition, my site name has now been changed to ratanphamber.com. Sounds more official i think.

Things are happening. Thank you awesomes.

 

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Not Yet

Posted by Ratan Phamber on

I stand with wind between my hair,
And death creeping beneath me;
A life’s grip on a death’s tool,
With the blade amongst decree.

The shadow beneath me, now behind,
And palms on each of my side;
A flash or two but no time for past,
Just one plea before that end of tide.

Not yet.

 

The Mechanical Mind in a Mechanical Mode

Posted by Ratan Phamber on

I’m back after a life’s hiccup, and it made me wonder about our mind and how it at times functions in almost a mechanical way (hence my blogs slogan). I read something interesting about the mind and how it shuffles through memories. When we are faced with problems and situations it’s possible that our mind subconsciously shuffles through memories within seconds to find something relevant for the current situation.

For example you’re in falling wreckage and you’re pinned. Your mind shuffles through memories and brings one of a film you watched about a dog. You wonder why this thought that arrived and then you realise you could get a nearby dog you just saw a few seconds ago to bring you something to pry yourself out to safety. Thus saving your life.

This could be the famous shuffling of memory in our mind that we call “that moment my life flashed before my eyes”. And that life being your mind looking for something relevant to the situation.

In this thought a little poem popped up in my head, as i was recently in an accident and thought of something similar. I might post it after this actually.

 

Starlight Rust: Chapter Two

Posted by Ratan Phamber on

I am still.

I move an inch and feel my body in pain. I am laying on my back, arms by my sides and the weight of the world on my chest, with the pain of the world in my head. My eyes are shut tight as if being forced to not see the horrors that lay in front of me, but i see red through my aching eyelids as the light penetrates through like a bright Sunday morning. Though my ears are ringing, i can hear the sound of falling rubble and flames howling and crackling. A loud monotone whistle amongst mechanical gear like sounds comes crashing down as if it just fell. What’s going on?

My eyes half open. The pain as if i have never used them pulses through my sockets. My vision is blurred but i see bright orange flames all around amongst rubble and fallen structures and some sort of crashed vehicular contraption on my right. I squirm for a moment pushing away the rubble that is pinning me to the ground. I can feel my legs, my chest, my neck, and the pain attached to them. But in the moment fear rushes through me because i have no feeling in my left arm. I try to turn my head but my neck is stiff and stuck, and i give up and continue squirming until i am clear of all rocks and boulders. I fill my lungs with what ever i am lucky to inhale and with one push of all the might i can muster, i push away the large slab of rock pinning me. The smaller rocks and stones fall off me, like critters afraid of one who has defeated their master. I am freed and my chest fills with the poison that is the air around me. I think for a moment. Did i fall from the sky? Was it even real?

It doesn’t take me long before my loose frail grasp of reality is returned to me in full embrace. No, it was not real. It was a dream or something else i could not at this moment fathom, but all i know in this moment is that it was not real. I feel however, that somehow it means something. The flames and explosions in the distance grow louder and this hellish display of destruction snaps me away from my descending thoughts. I roll my body to the left until i am lying flat on my front and as i lift my head up, the paralysis fades and my body rises from its tortured slumber. Something trickles down my head onto the dead stone and dirt and i realise that it is blood. I don’t even know if it’s my blood, but i assume that it is. A jolt of relief pervades my mind as my left arm tingles. I raise my aching body and onto my knees i sit there as my vision returns like the focus of a stained lens. What happened here? A crash site. I couldn’t remember a thing. The only thing on my mind once again was the dream. Why can i not remember? I feel the blood from my forehead trickle down to my chin and realise that i must have lost my memory from whatever damage was inflicted on my head. That explains the erupting migraine. I can feel my left arm a little now, but i cannot feel any pain. I turn my aching neck to my left afraid of what i might find. A wing? Shattered bones? No. I freeze in horror. What i find is far worse.

There are no bones, no flesh, nothing human. My mind becomes light and faint. I look at my right arm. It’s human. I look back at my left arm. Hoping that it is just an illusion, i am faced with the reality that it is real. Mechanical. It’s machine. It looks damaged but i can feel it like it’s part of me. I look closely wishing that each time i blink, one of them alters my perception back to something i understand. Giving up, i look closer. A few large metallic cylinders make up what seems to be replacement bones structures, and i see amongst and in between those cylinders some pneumatic articulated pipes, pumping in and out of each other like a steam train system. Every few seconds a hiss of odourless gas ejects from within the damaged section. I pull my right hand closer to it and decide to touch the inside. A high frequency beam of sound shoots through the skies and my attention is diverted. A cloud of smoke is visible from behind a building a few metres to my right. I squint thinking i may get a better view of things and a loud crash follows. The dead old red bricked building in front of the smoke quakes. My heart begins to palpitate as my body is being filled with adrenaline. I manage to jump to my cut and bleeding knees and before i am even allowed to feel the relief of standing tall for the first time, the building explodes from behind into my direction.

In the opposite direction, i give no thought but run.

 

Starlight Rust: Chapter One

Posted by Ratan Phamber on

I awake amongst the dusty clouds, feeling the misty frost on my face, solidifying my perplexed expression. My feet without control like a new born child. I was flying.

Is such a thing possible? I don’t care. I spread my arms, embracing the cold continuous blast of wind amongst the glittering silk of night. A light emerges from the never-ending distance. My curiosity peeks like the precipice of a volcanic eruption and i ready to leap inside. Before i can even think, i realise that my curiosity has already propelled me towards it. But the closer i get to it the further i remain. What is this deception? I will myself to stop, but am unable to. A sense of fear seeps into my soul, sealed inside by my own mind’s lack of control. The clouds darken as i begin to breathe sharply, and the light vanishes amongst the darkness. The heavy breathing drowns me in a sense of vertigo and i begin to sweat like a lamb knowing of it’s inevitable slaughter. I let out a cry but am still helpless. My vision completely covered by the betraying veil of dark clouds and yet a flash of lightning blinds me, followed by a roar of thunder that sends my muscles into a solidifying tenseness. At this point i know that my slaughter is inevitable and yet i wail and thrash about like there is some hope that i may be freed from this force of darkness.

I notice an eagle on my right glowing in its bronze splendour. I look to it for comfort, but instead it gazes back at me like a predator ready to strike. The lightning strikes again and again, sending blindness through my eyes and instant rainfall soaks me; turning my clothes into the very darkness, pulling me down enough to feel gravity ten-fold and yet leave me hanging still amongst the war of light and thunder. I look at the eagle again and it sends a pulsing screech through the atmosphere and shudders my eardrums. I don’t understand it but i turn the other way and notice that my left arm is a wing of bronze feathers. I pull my left wing and right arm in front of me. What am i? Confusion and fear grips me, and becomes all i know at this moment.

A crackle of lightning shoots down hitting my wing. I cry out with all my being as it penetrates my entire body, turning half my shirt into ashes and half my wing into abused burnt coal. The pain excruciating and numbing as my feathers are set ablaze. A second bolt whips my chest, leaving nothing on my pale skin but the scars and scorches of the unforgiving sky. A third and forth strikes me shredding parts of my trousers and parts of my skin. I scream in agony and can no longer bare it. I give in. I turn my head to see my steaming body and the rain -however refreshing- holding the lightning to my body like an electric robe of torture. And that is when i see her. In the distance, a face. She glows like an angel watching my demise. My eyes barely open. I know her. Yet i cannot name her. I reach out with what is left of my right arm, hoping that it is not another betraying illusion like the light earlier. I no longer care who she is; i simply long for her as if in a instant she is the love of my life. The grip of the sky on me is lifted and i am dropped.

My uncontrolled flight comes to a halt and my new path is downwards into the abyss. With my body in agony, i try to look down to see if there is even a ground, but with my back facing below and smoke like clouds haunting my vision, i can barely see. I notice that my fall rivals that of the rain itself and the droplets seems to halt mid-flight. A sense of envy fills me as the rain seems to be travelling upwards, merely me travelling faster downwards. I look up and the angels face is no longer visible. I miss her. My heart broken. I try to look below again and manage to see a giant crater laying there beneath me; my grave all ready and welcoming. A surge of energy pulses through me, adrenaline pumping, but diverting straight into panic and fear. With only seconds left i look death right in the eye and let out my final cry.

 

… And so this drama unfolds

Posted by Ratan Phamber on

I finally sit here in my dusty haven after a few injuries from the clumsiness that stalks me at every corner. And i decided that today was the day. Ok title title title….. and it is going to be…..

 

“Starlight Rust”

 

This is the first thing that has just come to mind. I don’t know why and i don’t know what it is. But now i have a title for my story. Now to conjure the story itself. I have to admit this little project of mines is very exciting. But now for the real challenge. Writing a story, improvised in the moment itself as each chapter is written in stone, with no prior planning or thought.

I’ll be giving this project its own little space at the top, so keep an eye out and let me know what you think. The first chapter will appear very soon.

For those wondering what this project is, check our my prior post

“Belated but Updated and Fighting for my Writing”

 

Hope you like what’s to come. Well, i hope i like it too.